It's about time...

To take a breather and play catch up!

To say life has been a bit crazy lately, would be a vast understatement!  Let's just say the last 3 or so weeks of my life very well could be documented as the craziest period of my life thus far.  However...crazy doesn't always mean dreadful.  Really, I don't have much to complain about, besides the fact that I plain didn't have time to take in the 'moments'.  And, part of that craziness included finals, but that's done and over with and went as well as can be expected so can't complain there either!

So to document a portion of what all has been taking place, here are some photos.
Enjoy!

Enjoyed a weekend of fellowship and friendship building in November.

Officially joined the photography world with the purchase of the Canon Rebel T3i...Love it!

Had fun co-shooting Cmas picts for my bro and wife.  So cute!

Pretty much had my nose in a textbook as often as I made the time (which I'm embarrassed to say was not even close to as often as it should have been.)

Had a blast helping my niece and nephews decorate Gingerbread houses at FVH.  Love them!

Quick Senior session before the weather got too frigid. 

Pretty much had a splendid time planning, preparing, and catering a graduation buffet for a fellow nursing student.
More details to come at a later date!

Seriously could squeeze this lil darlin' to peices she's so stinkin' cute!

My lil bro is now officially 16. Not sure how I feel about that yet.  Still have one more day until he travels the roads...that's gonna be an adjustment! :-/

Helped mother take a few wedding reception pictures on Sunday.

That about covers the highlights of my life over that last month or so.  Including a lot more time spent in studying and school work but I wouldn't necessarily say thats a highlight!  However, I am so entirely thankful that semester 1 of nursing school is now behind me!  I am officially half way through my whole college career!!!  I must say tho, that there would have been absolutely no way I would have made it through the semester with out God's grace!  To God be the glory!

This week is basically full of Christmas shopping, wrapping gifts, and making gifts since I had absolutely no time before now to do so.  So here's to another crazy, yet exciting week!

Blessings!

Bittersweet

the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.

~Job 1:21

 

 

Life is bittersweet.  I've been realizing that more now than ever.  It's not always a patch of roses.  Sometimes the thorns overtake the beauty and other times its the beauty without the thorns.  But that's the beauty of life.  It's NOT perfect.  Just when we get to feeling a little too comfy in this world, God sends us a reminder that this IS NOT our home. We should Praise God for that.  Because it creates in our hearts a deeper longing for heaven someday - At least it should. 

I've been thinking a lot about Job lately. After the last tragety, I didn't think our community could handle any more hurt.  I was wrong.  And now I realize that we REALLY don't know what the future holds.  We can look at statistics and think that we are done losing loved-ones for a while, but that's the farthest thing from the truth.  It's in God's hands, not statistical data.  Just look at Job.  Anyone looking at his life at that time would never have guessed after he lost all of his possessions, that he would lose his WHOLE family and be left with absolutely NOTHING. Job's life is an awesome testimony for us today.  No matter how much sorrow we are experiencing, God is FAITHFUL.  And through Him, we can find beauty amongst the thorns.

On to the sweet and rosy part of life, aside from the thorns, I had an amazing weekend with some AMAZING people.  It was one of those weekends that leaves you feeling somewhat (or maybe extremely) depressed after its over.  I know, I know, weekends like this should be uplifting, but it's sooo hard to say goodbye to friends from miles and miles away, not knowing when you may see each other again. But as a dear friend reminded me, we have to say goodbye before we can say hello again, whether its here on earth or in heaven. So I just cling to the memories and thank God for todays wonderful technology that allows us to keep in touch despite the many miles in between.

So to my dear friend who braved Illinois for 3 whole days, thanks SOO much for coming.  Even if you were a little intimidated! (Which is absolutely ridiculous) ;) For not hardly even knowing you (I must confess I couldn't remember your last name for the longest time, even though you were coming to stay w/ me for invite-a-friend!), I feel like we could have been lifelong sisters after this weekend. From thinking the same thoughts, to reading each others mind, it really was quite amazing how quickly we clicked!  Guess the Praise goes to our Wonderful Heavenly Father once again for giving us this chance to become good life-long friends. 

Sigh.  God has blessed me beyond measure.

TayTay ~ Miss you!

Saturday night sleep-over buddies - Taylor, Me, Karla, & Nicole

 

Mish Mash

• Wow. Sorry for my lack of posts.  Not sure what I've been up to thats caused the quiet blogging!
•  I think I'm in a daze.  Life is just flying by.  Everything seems like a blur.  I'm not gonna complain because I'm really looking forward to winter break.  But then again, I don't like to miss the moments, and I have been.  I can't believe tomorrow is November already.  Christmas is less than 2 mos away!!!
• Short up-date on life: College is going ok.  Not great.  Not horrible.  Just OK. I'm learning to take one day at a time.  I don't look forward and I don't look back.  I'm also learning how great of a procrastinator that I am...like right now... :S
• I need to learn to find a balance tho.  I'm having a hard time balancing school work, social life, and my spiritual life.  first off, I probably put social life before school work, which would be obvious if you could see my grades!  (Funny how my fear of getting a B or lower has suddenly and magically disappeared!  Now all I care about is the 75% to pass!) I don't want to give up my social life, but then again I know I DON'T want to have to re-take any nursing class...so I better get my priorities straight. And as for my spiritual life, sadly enough, I've felt like if has suffered even more than my school work.  I always seem to push reading and praying off till the end of the day when I'm already exhausted and just wanna crawl in bed.  Which usually leads to me falling asleep while praying and I somehow always wake up in the middle of the night, in bed, with my lamp still on. I've been working on that tho.  And it's getting better.  Guess I would just ask for some prayers to get my focus back on what is most important in life because I know one thing is for certain: I would definitely much rather fail a nursing class, than fail in my relationship with Jesus Christ!
• Side-note: I can't even begin to write about how much I have felt God's quiet, assuring presence throughout the past few months.  Whether its giving me the knowledge to pass a quiz that I did not take adequate time to study for because I probably opted to spend time with friends instead, or blessing me with great instructors who have made this semester much easier than I anticipated, or giving me the confidence, peace, and grace to face clinical each week because I know without that I would be a disaster!  Or maybe it's an angel sent by Him to wake me up tues morning for clinical b/c I fell asleep praying the night before and failed to set my alarm... whatever it may be, they are quiet reminders that God IS with me.  And He WILL grant me the grace to get through these next 2 years if it continues to be His will!  That's what I cling to on days when I'm totally and completely overwhelmed!  (Which is another quiet assurance b/c I haven't had very many of those days...yet.)  God be praised!
• One of these days I'll maybe catch you up on all my social-happenings the past few weeks but right now I should get to some studying. :)
• Blessings in the rest of the week!

  Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.
         ~ Ecclesiates 9:10

Idea

Sometimes all it takes is a simple idea.

That idea gets shared.

And the sharees enthusiastically encourage the sharer.

A date gets set.

Usually the same week because the excitement is just too much.

 

The simple idea turns into a night of priceless moments.

The moments create lasting memories.

And the memories strenthen a bond of friendship that is soo precious.

 

A clear, crisp, fall night.

Stars twinkling in the heavens.

A truck bed overflowing with blankets.

A fierce protector.

Quite moments. Loud laughter. Intimate talks.

A night filling our hearts with the Awsomeness of God our Creator.

Plus two wonderful ladies to share it with.

 

Go with the idea.

And enjoy the moments.

Oh...and don't forget to REPEAT! 

The heavens declare the glory of God;
and the firmament sheweth his handywork.
Psalm 19:1



Minnesota

The other weekend I traveled to Winthrop, Minnesota for a dear friend's wedding.

Sadly enough it was the first time I'd ever been there, despite the fact that shared a friendship with someone from there for so long.  Guess it goes to show that friendships don't have to always require face-to-face meetings.  We are blessed with some pretty amazing technology to feed those friendships despite the long distances!  I am thankful for that.  And I'm thankful for the girl who did so well at using the technology to keep up with our friendship.  (I fail to do that so often...but not because I don't love her!)

To Lena: I'm sooo happy to see that God has given you a wonderful Godly man to be your husband.  You will be blessed.  And I'm so superly excited to have you only 1 hour away from me now!!  Can't wait to come visit and see you being a wonderful wife! ;)

To Amanda, the amazing girl who put up with me all the way to MN and back: I love you! Thanks for being willing to come along and keep me company.  One more moment to add to our growing list of memories together.  Next time we go to Culver's I won't forget what you want.  All I'll have to do is order two of what I like - Chicken tenders team scoupie meal, with cheese curds instead of fries, and vanilla ice cream in a dish with raspberries.  YUM!  Who knew good friends could grow the same taste buds?! ;)

 

 

Guilty or Not Guilty

If tried, would I/you be convicted of being a Christian?

Or is there not enough evidence?

Survived but still swimming

My first real clinical.
It was not as stressful as I anticipated.
I didn't get overly nervous.
I only had a tiny stomach ache.  But it passed.
To say I did everthing I should have, would be a lie.
I felt very unorganized.
I think I looked like a deer in the headlights all day long.
But it went well. 
I was pleased.
And I'm actually excited for next week. :)

I was for-worned that this is the week when it gets "real."
I'm beginning to realize why. 
I didn't think I would get too stressed, and I haven't until right now.
I'm in a bit of a panic mode.
I have two quizzes to study for and have very little time to do it.
I have 8 chapters to read and take notes on.
I have to write a "poem, song, or jingle" on a lung/thorax disease by tomorrow
And I'm stumped. And tired.  And grumpy.
My creative juices went bye-bye and won't come back.
Then I have to share it with the class.
And I'm nervous.
I'm low on sleep.  I feel like I could ralf.  And I just want to throw something.
And my family is coming over for birthdays tonight, so I need to put on a smile!
And do my homework later.

So with all this on my lap, I decided to post instead.
Hoping it would spark some creative vibes...but I'm not feelin 'em.
Who wants to write about a lung disease?
I mean really. 
How creative can that get?

Hoping to let off some frustration, instead of letting it off on someONE.
Do I feel better?
A little.  Not much.
Well, not really.
I still have all this work to do.
It's not going to go away.
I think I could still ralf.
Maybe I need to eat something. 
Something Healthy...
And I still don't have a smile.

But, even though I sound like a grumpy complainer, I want to do this.
And I WILL get through this.

And just since I feel negative right now, I will remind myself that
this is only the bottom of the mountain that I am about to climb!
So, I will just keep climbing, because I don't know any other way to reach the top!

Oh, and I guess I may as well do it with a smile... :)

Thoughtful Thurday: the Potter and the clay

Isaiah 64:8 (http://livininthelight.wordpress.com/page/2/)

If I am correct in this, most potters begin with a lump of clay.  But before they can mold it into anything, water must be added to make it the right consistency to be moldable.   Then, the clay must be centered perfectly on the pottery wheel, otherwise it will not turn out as desired.  The potter then begins to shape his clay.  This can be a long, rigorous, time-consuming process before the finished product can be turned into something of use.  Many times the clay does not turn into what the potter had intended for it to be.  Perhaps the clay didn't begin at the right consistency, or maybe there were some impurities in the clay - there could be many factors.  Sometimes the potter may even have to pound the clay back into a lump and all start over.  But with time, work, and patience, the clay can be shaped into a beautiful vessel. 

Know where this is going?  Yep, There's an anology! 

First, the Clay. It can be all types of consistencies and textures. Moist. Dry. Lumpy. Crumbly. Runny. Smooth. Watery. Stiff. Soft. Pliable...

We know that it begins out as a dry and stiff lump, and water must be added to make it moldable.  In our lives, we begin as dry, sinful clay.  God must add water to our lives before we can be shaped, and we must soak up this water.  God's water is His living Word.  And in His word, we can learn about the salvation He provides to each one of us. Yes, we can read it and we can know it.  But we have to apply it to be able to be shaped. 

 

First off, Reminder #1 to us: We begin as a lump. We are NOTHING without God, our Potterer.  

 

Reminder #2: God expects us to do our part - To follow and apply His Word.  We must water, and He will grant the increase (or in this case, the beautiful vessel).

 

Once the water is added, God pounds and kneads the clay until it is soft a pliable.  Sometimes this can be painful.  Tough.  Humbling.  But it's necessary inorder for the vessel to be molded.

 

Reminder #3: For God to work in our lives, we need to be soft and pliable Christians.

 

So where are you at today? Where am I? Am I a dry, stiff Christian. Unwilling to change in my ways?  Unwilling to obey God's Word and His will for my life? When I am seeking God's will, do I go with an open and willing heart, or with my mind already made up? Do I treat others in genuine love, or in a judgmental, harsh way?

Or maybe I'm a lumpy and moist Christian with parts that are soft and pliable, but when a lump comes, I don't take the time to smooth it out, instead I just move on and let the lump stay. 

Or maybe I'm a watered down, runny Christian, and I am willing to accept anything and everything, even if it doesn't match up completely to God's word.  Maybe I've let a little too much of the world into my life.  Or maybe I take God's word and adjust it to my liking, instead of how God meant for it to be.

 

Reminder #4: Be observant of our consistency of clay, and be willing to put forth the effort to become soft and pliable again, if that is not where we find ourselves.

 

It's also important that the clay is centered on the wheel, inorder for it to be shaped symmetrically.  The wheel is Christ.  In our lives, are we centered in Christ?  Is He our focus everyday, in every aspect of our lives?  Do we seek to be like Christ and to love like Christ? 

 

Reminder #5 Let's walk life with Christ at the center.  Focused, soley on Him.

 

Now look at Jeremiah 18:1-6.

The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying,

Arise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause thee to hear my words.

Then I went down to the potter's house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels.

And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.

Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying,

O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the Lord. Behold, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.

In this passage, God sent Jeremiah into a potter's shop.  There, he saw a potter working at his wheel, molding clay into a vessel.  But as he was working, something went wrong with the clay, and the potter had to start over making another vessel.  This time, the potter was satisfied.  God then reminds Jeremiah that He can and does hold the clay in his hand just as the potter was holding and molding the vessel. 

Reminder #6:  God holds us in His hands. 

It's also important to notice that the potter didn't just fling the clay aside, and mark it as useless when it didn't go as planned.  Instead, he started over, re-molded and shaped it, worked with it until he was satisfied.  That's exactly how God is with us. Sometimes we find ourselves struggling - emotionally, spriritually, physically.  Sometimes we forget our focus and veer off on the wrong path.  Or sometimes, we may even develop cracks in our vessel.  But Praise the Lord that He is willing to aid us and He will carry us through those times in our life if we continue to trust Him.  And if we require re-shaping, God is willing if we have the right heart.

Reminder #7: God is a loving, merciful God.  He will never leave us or forsake us.

Think of all of the people that God is molding, shaping, and re-shaping daily.  He is continually shaping His people.  That's how much He loves us.  His desire for us is to be in Heaven with Him, and He will work with us constantly to help us reach Heaven.  But, we must remember that a soft, and pliable heart is necessary to allow the Potter to shape us into the beautifully, unique, and Godly vessels He has prepared for us.

Let us be thankful and Praising God that we are in His hands.  OUR LIVES are in the hands of an Almighty, All-knowing, and All-seeing God!! 

*God put it on my heart one night to look into the meaning behind the Potter and the clay.  It's been a great refocus for me, so I thought I would share it. Would love to hear your comments and encouragement!  My goal is to do a weekly "thoughtful thursday" to help me keep my focus on Spiritual things, but I won't make any promises...

B & N Wedding

Weddings. It's such a happy time.  Joyous laughter.  Genuine smiles.  Words of encouragement.  So many details.  Surrounded by people you love.  It's a good thing.  And it's a God-thing. 

The day turned out to be perfect minus the fact that it was a tiny bit too sunny. But we made do!  The wedding party was awesomely patient with me and not a complaint was heard.  Thanks guys!  I had a blast and the pictures turned out much better than I was anticipating!  And I didn't even get a tiny bit nervous - which I can only give credit to the Lord for that!  He calmed my nerves and gave me the strength...because I seriously was freaking out the days before!  I also want to thank my awesomely wonderful assistant, Sarah!  She did a fantastic job with my poor teaching skills and slightly flighty demeanor!  Can't wait until next time! ;)

Friends · Food · Fun





Giddy anticipation.  An excuse to dress up.  A perfect birthday celebration.  A date with 3 amazing friends.  A night filled with countless giggles and grins!

 

Thursday night, T, C, K, and I took a night off and ate out at Station 220 in downtown Bloomington to celebrate T's birthday.  We ordered the 7-course-tasting and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it!  I would highly recommend it to any of you fancy-adventureous diners out there...the chefs did an amazing job!

 

If you haven't already read K's blog on our evening...refer to it to get a more detailed description of the foods...She's much more versed in the culinary area than I!

 

Notice our excited expressions and easy smiles...before we were filled to the brim!

Course #1...possibly my favorite - fried pork wrap with some yummy sauce under it!

Course #2...had a hard time with this one...I'm not a fan of tomatoes...but I choked down most of it. ;)

Course #3 - Sweet corn soup (i think...) with shrimp & carrots in middle - this was good for the first couple bites but by the end I could have about hurled! But I don't want to scare you away...everything else was superb!

Course #4 - Delicious tasting salmon!!! Hmmm-mmm!

Course #5 - Extremely tender beef cheeks...with some carrots, beans, and rice-type-stuff...
Everyone I told about this course looked at me, smiled, and said...Do you know where beef cheeks come from?! ;)

Course #6 - our first dessert - a fruit tart with fresh berries and sorbet. YUM!

T's Birthday surprise...to her relief there was no singing involved!  And our waiter in the background...

Course #7 - Tiramisu - this was delicious but by this course I was so full I thought I was gonna hurl (for the 2nd time that night...) so I could barely finish it...but it was still super delicious!



After the meal - our half grins and bent trunks due to the bulging middles....that's when we decided to take a walk around the block to settle our stomachs...or something like that!

So much fun tucked into one evening...I think part of my stomach issue was because we were laughing so hard at times...try laughing on a completely full and overflowing stomach...Yeah, actually I don't recommend it! Oh and I can't forget to mention our frequent bathroom trips - we drank so much water with the meal I think we each went to the bathroom at least 3 times throughout the 2 1/2 hour period!! I wonder what the waiter thought... And of course we had to go in pairs... :) 

 

So thankful for these 3 girls...our memory file keeps getting larger!  Thanks C&B for giving us this opportunity! I thoroughly enjoyed it...plus I was super excited to go on a "fancy date" and get to dress up - even if we were a bit overdressed compared to the rest of the crowd!  Things like that thrill me...call me odd.  :)

Professionalism or Christianism?

This past friday, I spent the day down at College at an orientation for the nursing program.  8 hours of sitting and listening to others talk got a little bit on the boring side, but I did learn some things!

On of the speakers talked to us about the importance of professionalism as a nurse.  As he began explaining what all that entailed, I was amazed at how Biblical his teachings were.  The attributes we, as professional nurses, are expected to have fit almost perfectly into the teachings we, as Christians, obtain from God's Word.  We were instructed to praise our peers, not ourselves.  We are to always put others first, especially when it comes to the patient.  The speaker continued to stress how we need to remove self and serve others if we want to succeed as a nurse.  Being kind to each other is a must.  He told us, "keep a smile on your faces and have the right attitude in your hearts. The only way for you to do this is to remove self."  And then he reminded us on how important it is for us to remain positive in every situation.  Remember to keep our cups half full! 

From there, we begain to talk about incivility.  We discussed some ways this can happen and gossiping was brought up.  Gossiping about another person can only hurt that person and that is not how we should be treating eachother.  Our Civility statement includes - respecting people and property, showing empathy and tolerance towards others, demonstrating concern and patience towards others, and accepting accountibility for our own actions. 

Integrity is another attribute essential to professional nurses.  We have to be able to stand for what is true and right, and be honest in every situation, no matter how bad we may look or how our image is affected.  Sometimes we may be tempted into not being completely honest in a situation, or to do something we know isn't right, but yet it would make our task easier.  However, we must not give in to the temptations that come our way.

I'm not going to lie, I was very convicted during this discussion.  My eyes were opened as to how much improvement is needed in my life in so many of these areas. I should be walking around with these attributes written all over my face, but I don't.  I should treat people in these ways all of the time because God commands me to, but I don't.  I had to think why would our instructor stress how important these attributes are?  Why should we treat others this way?  Where did he get his reasoning behind professionalism.  From the Bible...where else?  I wanted to stand up and shout to everyone why these attributes are SOO important - because they are commanded in God's Word! But of course, he wouldn't admit that the traits behind professionalism basically stand for Christianism.  Because professionalism and Christianism cannot mix...or something like that! ;)

So, because I need help in soo many of these areas, I'm going to work on:

• keeping a positive attitude
• praising others for their accomplishments and giving compliments even in the worst situations
• putting others first no matter what situation I'm in, in life
• standing for what is true and right no matter how big or small it may be
• taking responsibility for my actions even if it lowers my self image
• remembering to only talk good of others and not spreading gossip
• being kind to others
• keeping a smile on my face
• yeilding not to temptations! 

Help Keep me accountable!

In other news...I've offically started the nursing program.  I'm super excited!! (Remind me of this when I'm stuggling to keep my head above water and pulling my hair out in a few weeks...I really am excited!!)  I can't even explain the peace I feel in my heart that this is exactly where God wants me right now.  He is the One who will get me through this!  Because I won't make it alone!!

Oh...and just to make you feel sorry for me...this is where my nose will be for the next 16 weeks, so I apologize for my rudeness ahead of time if I forget that you still exist! ;)

And these are only for this semester...not the whole program :S

Smile

*True story from a relative*

As I was filling my work truck up with gas at Casey's one afternoon, I saw a familiar christian woman walking out to her car after paying for her gas.  She looked as if she carried the whole world on her shoulders, and didn't seem the least bit joyful.  Avoiding eye contact, she passed a man from town who most folks knew as the man who spoke his mind and didn't mind what other's thought.  As he was passing the young christian women, I heard him bellow, "Hey. SMILE! Life really is NOT that bad!"  I had to smirk, knowing at how true his statement was towards her.  But then I felt a wave of sadness wash over me.  As a christian myself, I had to step back and look at how I carried myself and what image I was giving others in my daily walk.  Do people see me as a joyful, peaceful, and radient christian who is willingly serving Christ from the bottom of my heart, spreading His love to those around me? Or a staunch, stern-faced, and unfriendly person too concerned with things of this life to pay any mind to those around me who may need a smile or word of encouragment? 
 
The Bible commands us to love the Lord our God, with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:30-31). And if any man love God, (which is His first commandment) the same is known of him (1 Corinthians 8:3).  Therefore, that love must be reflected in our daily life, because God's love is unending.  Christ commands us to be joyful (John 15:11), that our joy may be full.  Not to mention that joy is a fruit of the spirit as well as love. And Philippians tells us to rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS.  That's when I realized that God commands us to love, to be joyful, to rejoice in Him ALWAYS.  Not just when we're having a good day, or when we are around people that are easy to love.  These are hourly commandments that we must not take lightly.  We are to let our light shine before men, and what better way to start than with a smile!

The attitude you're carrying right now will spread to somebody else today. If you're joyful, you'll lift their spirits. If you're angry, you'll infect them with negative feelings. The Bible tells us to exhort one another, to hold fast to our faith, and to spread abroad the love of God with overflowing hearts.

I challenge you to give a smile to everyone you meet today.  If you're in line at the grocery store, ask the check-out lady how they're doing.  If you're working with a parient, give them a word of encouragement. Or just give them a true, genuine smile. Whoever you meet, whatever the situation, make sure you're attitude will positively infect them.
Smiles are the most contagious emotional signal of all, having an almost irresistible power to make others smile in return.
~ Daniel Goleman

B+N Engagement

Golden, warm sunshine sprinkling across the golden grasses.  A soft summer breeze gliding through the trees.  Two grinning faces clearly falling in love.  And one nervous new shooter trying to hide her quivers!  Thanks Brooke and Nathan for trusting me to capture your first blossoms of love as a newly engaged couple and for being confident in my meager skills as a budding photographer and for not expecting anything too extravagant.  ;) 

Thought I'd share a few of my favorites from the evening! Enjoy!

Looking forward to taking this couples wedding pictures next weekend!  Let's just say I'm a tad bit more nervous for that! ;)  But by God's grace, it'll hopefully go just as wonderuful as this engagement session!